In the wake of Arnold Palmer's death, the question on the radio one morning was whose death has affected you the most?

My first thought was Robin Williams. I remember the sadness and pointlessness of it all--a man so comedic and entertaining could struggle at such great lengths with depression. It emphasizes the fact you just do not know what another person might be struggling through at any given moment. 

But, why pick someone famous? On the same day Arnold Palmer passed away, a homeless guy, James, passed away as well. James was an interesting fellow with wild, curly blonde hair and a VERY deep voice. But once you started talking to him you learned at a very young age he learned to play guitar. His eyes lit up underneath all those blonde curls when he talked about guitars. And once again I feel the enormous sadness for the soul who passed in the bathroom at the local grocery store. 

As much as I am moved by these, when I focus on the question of whose death has affected me the MOST (and besides Jesus, whose life and death has greatly impacted millions, hands down), I must pick my mother. I was in my early twenties when she died of Leukemia. At that point in my life, I was just beginning to build a relationship with her as an adult and move past those rebellious teenage years. Those precious few years we talked as adults I enjoyed her company. And sadly, she was taken very quickly and then the relationship was gone. I think the thing that burns into the core of my being is that I didn't try harder. I didn't realize I wouldn't have 30 or 40 years to spend getting to know my mother as a person, to hear about her childhood, to hear about mine from her perspective. I didn't get to apologize for all the times I was mean to her, and thank her for all the things she did for me. During the short couple of months of her suffering, I barely had time to process what was happening. That incredible sadness and loss overtakes me every year on her birthday, on Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas...often over the year. I wish I had not wasted the time.

So, in retrospect, the follow up question to this is, "Now that you've thought about whose death has affected you the most, what are you going to do about it?"

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