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Showing posts from 2018
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My "run in" with the Military Police Most people don’t know that I was one of the fastest recruits into the 294 th  Dental Detachment of the Iowa Army National Guard. Or that the M.P.'s (Military Police) had showed up looking for me at the house I had previously shared with my younger sister. When my term of service ended in the U.S. Army, I opted to join a reserve unit in Michigan. I drilled with the unit for two months, and they were preparing to do their two-week annual training. However, I was convinced by one Ed Taylor to move to Iowa with him and enjoy the low unemployment rates. It seemed very scary to pack up and move to Iowa, but after three years in the Army, I was no stranger to moving out of state. With a promise to only be in Iowa for a little while, I said goodbye to my little sister (who I never saw again) at the end of May and moved to Iowa. I had previously told my reserve unit that I was leaving, and I did the paperwork to process out. I was
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All the things that used to annoy me... I had no idea how much I would later miss them. The biggest one was the way you would talk incessantly as soon as I got home. I didn’t have any time to decompress, think through my day, and think about what I would accomplish for the night. It was a barrage of things on your mind, questions you wanted to ask, and ideas you wanted feedback on. You would talk until, exasperated, I would ask you to just stop talking for a while and give me some quiet time. I had no idea how soon I would have more quiet than I could possibly imagine. What I wouldn’t give to have those conversations now. How I regret every time I stopped you from talking to me and from asking me questions. How I would love to fill up my days with those conversations…especially those nights when I sit here by myself, wanting nothing more than some conversation. To talk about what my day was like, mistakes I made, things I didn’t get done, and what the rest of my life will look
So, the #1 Question: How Am I? Indeed. How am I? I often answer this complicated question with a brush off and a quick, “I’m fine.” And maybe sometimes, if I’m feeling particularly light, I’ll add, “Taking it one day at a time.” But if you know me well, I have trouble looking you in the eye when I answer. The pain of answering it honestly is too much. My life partner of 30 years is suddenly gone, and my world has instantly changed without my permission or approval. I now have to make decisions, and do things, everything, entirely on my own. A once busy, two-person team has just vanished, and is replaced with a team of one that doesn’t always feel motivated to get up in the morning--let alone “seize the day”. And I have to face it EVERY DAY. Every day. I don’t get a vacation from it, I can’t avoid it, and I can’t pretend it didn’t happen. Everything in my whole life is a constant reminder of it. So, how am I? Well, I struggle to get up every day. I struggle to find joy