The Perfect Christmas Tree

I have always loved Christmas trees. There is something about all the family gathered around spending time together that pulls at my heart strings.

 Christmas Eve, growing up, would always find us at Grandma Finazzi’s house with all the aunts, uncles and cousins. Christmas morning with my siblings. It warmed my heart.

In the beginning of my life with Ed, our first apartment we borrowed a fake tree from his parents for Christmas. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but once we added some lights, garland, and a few ornaments, it was ours. We didn’t have many presents underneath, but it always warmed my heart during Christmas to have it displayed in the corner of the room.

 When we had kids, we still put that tree up every year. The first Christmas in our own house, we started buying a real tree every year. We did the classic Christmas “thing” and took the kids out to pick one, strapped it onto the top of the car, and brought it home (only once did it fall off and go rolling down the highway!).

We dealt with needles everywhere and watering it often so that we could decorate the tree and have it in the living room as a beacon to light the way to the presents underneath. Beautiful.

However, there were years where my tree wasn’t so big and beautiful.

One year, living in a mobile home, Ed was gone for several months at a training at Ft. Benjamin Harrison, Indiana. That year, with my little toddler, I wanted the Christmas “spirit”, but I did not want to do the whole “tree” thing for just the two of us.

At Walmart one day, I spotted a Norfolk pine. I loved how the branches reminded me of the boughs of a potential Christmas tree. I bought it.

I brought it home and decorated it with garland and put a few ornaments on it. Just enough to make Charlie Brown proud! It served us well that year, and I still smile when I think of that tree.

Another time was when we moved to Chicago. We didn’t want to worry about storing a Christmas tree and with apartment living in Chicago, we didn’t think we would have room for something like a big tree.

Our first Christmas though, it just didn’t feel right without a tree. I made a tree outline taping lights to our sliding glass door. I put a blanket of fake “snow” behind it and you could see the lights shining through from under the blanket of snow. It was perfect. I loved it.

 The first Christmas after Ed passed, my lonely apartment just didn’t feel right when December rolled around without any decorations. I struggled for motivation to do anything, but yet, I felt such a great, compounded loss to not have anything up at Christmas.

One day while sitting in my dark living room, I was looking at the funeral wreath stands that were still in my apartment. I wasn’t sure if they could just go in the trash, so they were still sitting in my apartment as a stark reminder of my loss.

Then my mischievous side shone through, and I found my box of Christmas decorations.

I uncovered a set of lights and draped them over the floral stand and plugged them in. It brought a festive look to those dreary reminders of the funeral. I grabbed some golden garland and wrapped it around the stand as best as I could.

Then I sorted through my absolute favorite ornaments and hung them from the few cross bars on the stand. It seemed sad, but joyful. I topped it with the Ty Rudolph beanie baby that I had bought for Ed to represent “Donner”. It was an inside joke from his time in the hospital.

 It was perfect.

Years later, when I moved out on my own for the first time and December rolled around, once again I thought about what to do for a Christmas tree. I decided I would find something simple.

I grabbed my purse and drove to Goodwill. I wandered around all the trees there until I saw one about three feet high with lights already wrapped throughout the branches. The tag read fifteen dollars and I thought it was perfect! I could even pick it up myself, almost with one hand!

I brought my little tree to my home and plugged it in. The lights came on and I beamed almost as bright. Perfect!

 

I still have that tree. I love that it doesn’t take up much room, and I can carry it up and down stairs all by myself. And set up takes minutes! I add garland and ornaments and it is my favorite tree once again.

 Christmas trees, to me, symbolizes Christmas time when all the family is gathered around the tree to spend time together. Similar to shepherds and wise men gathered to visit baby Jesus. It reminds me of that special time, of my family, of love. December, without a Christmas tree, just does not feel like Christmas.