"Be All You Can Be" or why I joined the Army

 


 People are often impressed that I joined the Army out of high school. But the truth is, I joined the Army because the recruiters were pushy, and I did not think I had any alternative options.

I was a straight A student, and in the National Honor Society. But no one talked to me about going to college, and I didn’t know how I could possibly pay for it. I didn’t have a car, or even my license or a job, so these things seemed so far out of reach that I didn’t even see it as an option.

 My mom never encouraged me to drive. She worked 2nd shift, and she was divorced. My two older sisters drove her car when they lived at home, and both had part-time jobs. I never really thought to ask, and my mom never offered or asked.

 I don’t know why she didn’t. The story I tell myself is that it was so stressful to have my older sisters driving her car, and inconvenient, and costly to have them included on her car insurance, that she opted to not encourage me to drive.

 I don’t really know, and I can’t ask, because she passed away a very long time ago.

 But the Army turned out okay for me. I did well with my choice to join the Army. I moved out on my own and had a job. I grew up and saw the world…well, Ft. Jackson, South Carolina and Ft. Riley, Kansas.

 Eventually, in Kansas, I met my husband of 29 years. Things were good.

 Recently, I ran across this quote while reading the other day, “Be who you needed when you were younger.”

 It struck me as curious, not only the meaning behind it, but how it impacted my life. I always wondered why someone, anyone, never encouraged me to do more. To be more. To aim higher. To pick a career, go to college, or start a trade. I don’t remember anyone ever talking to me about my future. Not my guidance counselor, not my mother, no one.

 Let me repeat that. No one ever encouraged me to do something with my life.

 So, when I think about that statement “be who you needed when you were younger,” I question myself on how encouraging I was to my own kids. Did I encourage them to do more, to be more, to aim higher?

 It scares me that I don’t know if I did, or if I did it well. It seems like, at the time, I was busy raising them. My mind was preoccupied with housing, food, transportation. We did encourage them in after school activities, like scouts, soccer, gymnastics, dance. We did encourage them to find out what they enjoyed in life. And we were always in the stands cheering them on.

 But was that enough?

 My point is not whether I was a good parent, but more asking myself what I’m going to do from this point forward. What have I learned? And how do I put that knowledge into action?

 My kids are grown adults, and they struggle with finding their place in the world. I still have time to encourage my kids to, as the Army saying goes, “be all you can be”.

 My kids are great kids. But as a parent, I think my job isn’t done. I still have a chance to be the person I needed when I was younger. And now that I know this, I would be wrong if I did not do that not only for my kids, but for any person I come across. It’s not too late.

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