Brenda's Bear

    

 When Brenda first asked me if I would make her a bear from her mom’s hand-crocheted potholders, my first thought was, “of course! I’ll do my best!”

            Why? Because this is exactly what I want to be doing. To help people journey through grief and remember their loved one by turning some of their possessions into memorable items.

            My second thought, “I have never done something like this, and with something so precious! A handmade item. Something you can’t get back again if you mess it up.”

            Years ago, I made a teddy bear from my late husband’s Scoutmaster shirt. It was difficult, but I made it and it was adorable! I gifted it to his parents. They loved it!

            I made that with his one and only Scoutmaster shirt. But it was my shirt to ruin. And if it didn’t work out, honestly, no one would know if I didn’t tell them! 😊

            But this, this was different.

The only bear I created was the Scoutmaster teddy bear.

And I do not crochet, nor have I ever tried to make a bear from anything other than fabric that you can measure and cut according to a pattern.

I decided to seek professional crocheting advice from several family members who crochet.

They advised me against it, mentioning that if I were to try and cut, or unravel the potholder in any attempt to form it into teddy bear “pieces”, it would totally unravel and ruin the craftmanship of Brenda’s mom.

            No pressure there…

One person (okay my sister!), suggested I get a shirt from Brenda’s mom for the bear, and make a pillow from the potholders.

            I mulled it over and felt like this was a viable alternative. A “safer” alternative. I have made pillows, and sewing together squares to make a square pillow seemed easy.

And, since I previously made a teddy bear from a shirt, I knew I could do it!

            But later when I talked to Brenda, she did not sound very enthusiastic about a potholder pillow, or the shirt bear. She told me, “I think you can do this.”

            I returned to the drawing board (in my brain) and thought about how I could possibly create a bear from crocheted potholders without ruining the integrity of the hand-crocheting. I felt like it might work if I used one potholder per limb. And my sister had mentioned that I would need to “sew” the pieces together with yarn, instead of thread.

            “Maybe,” I thought.

            I told Brenda I would try it, and I met her in Michigan to get the potholders.

            I brought them back to Illinois. I washed with them, and I played with them. I rolled them up, pinned them and laid them out to consider the possibilities. I played with one and practiced shaping it into a head—making it as round as possible. I knew making a crocheted square round without cutting it was going to be my biggest challenge.

            I pinned a few pieces and sent the picture to Brenda for approval.

            She liked it!

            The project was a “GO”!

            It was a learning experience to turn the beloved, hand-crocheted items into the requested bear.

When I finished, I decorated the bear with a modified collar from Brenda’s mom’s blouse and added her mom’s necklace to the bear.

I thought “Brenda’s Bear” turned out cute, in an odd kind of hand-made way.

I knew where I would have done better if I did it again.

However, any struggles I may have had with this project were well worth it when Brenda received her bear in the mail. She loved it! She said it was “Adorable!”

It was incredibly gratifying and humbling to me, to create something for Brenda to remember her mom—from something her mom created something so precious and irreplaceable.

 

Recently, I made some Memorial Shirt Pillows from my late husband’s shirts. I wrote a poem and included a picture of him from printable fabric.

I felt like the end result honored his memory, and I hoped the recipients felt the same.

The “proof was in the pudding”, so to speak, as one texted me, “Got my pillow today. I cried, but strange tears…it is the neatest thing anyone has ever made me, so while I loooovvee it, it made tears come!?!? I can’t wait to show everyone! Thank you sooo much.”

And another one messaged, “Just arrived today! Thank you so much for the treasured memory!”

I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity and privilege to do this for Brenda and for others. This has helped me through my own grief journey—sorting through his possessions, deciding what to do with them, and creating a memorable teddy bear, pillow, quilt, or other object in their memory.

And then coming alongside those who are grieving a loved one, and helping them, continues to help me along my journey.

My goal now will be to discover who else will need a pillow or teddy bear to honor the memory of their loved one. To find people who need a memorial shirt pillow and gift them one. To share what I have learned and come alongside them in their grieving journey.