"Donner"
We had several boxes that contained miscellaneous paperwork from his youth such as, drawings, magazines, and mementos from his high school swing choir and band years. These boxes had sat, untouched for years, moving with us from house to apartment to apartment.
I painfully pulled out these items, some
of which I could smile and reminisce over, but some brought absolutely no
memory to mind.
Some boxes had newspapers and books,
some had mementos from my kids’ scholastic life, homework assignments, artwork,
school newsletters, etc. A lifetime of paperwork.
The packrats that we were, certainly
included boxes of utility bills, credit card statements, and bank statements
from decades ago.
I sorted the box contents into a box to
“keep”, a box for his parents, and a box to donate. Besides the sorting boxes,
I kept a trash bag handy. If it was of no value to anyone, I immediately threw
it away.
I was grateful to have my sister come a
couple times to help me sort, and some friends from church helped as well. However,
it was difficult for others to make decisions regarding the disposition of the
items, but they helped quickly sort, label and box up.
Several times one of my friends came and
immediately loaded her vehicle with everything we sorted to donate, and she
took care of finding it a home. That was incredibly helpful because it freed up
my time to focus on the sorting, and it also helped that I did not need to
witness it leaving my home for another. Once I handed the items to my loving
friend, these items were entrusted into her care and I could forget about them.
And considering the enormous number of
boxes I needed to sort, forget about them I did.
One of the more interesting items I had
after the funeral was floral arrangement stands.
After the funeral, I had four beautiful floral
arrangements on stands. At first, I had them outside on my patio, but after a
couple of days I brought them into my apartment.
His parents took one home.
My home should have seemed beautifully
serene with all the flowers and plants in my living room, however it was a
constant, visual reminder of my loss.
Once the flowers began to wilt, I was
surrounded by wilting flower arrangements, with some on stands. There is nothing
more depressing.
I started throwing them away days later,
when the flowers were officially dead. Within a week or so, they were all gone
with only a few plants and the floral arrangement stands remaining.
Since my trash could not go over my
assigned trash bin, one week I had extra bin space, so I put one of the stands
in it.
Since it was near Christmas, and I had
very little desire to put up any kind of tree, I decided to put some lights on
the floral stand. Then I added a couple of my favorite Christmas ornaments, and
some garland.
The result seemed to encapsulate my mood
of the season. An attempt to be somewhat festive, but underneath, the harsh
reality of a loss.
At the top of it was Donner--the small,
stuffed reindeer:
When Ed was recovering from surgery and
still half asleep with anesthesia, he told me, “Don’t worry about anything,
Donner will take care of it.”
I asked, “Donner?”
He said, “Yes, Donner.”
It was adorable! I had gone down to the
gift shop and asked for a stuffed reindeer. Since he passed in October, their
gift shop displayed mostly Halloween items.
One volunteer said, “Wait a minute,” and
disappeared into the back room.
She returned with THREE reindeer! She
had remembered they received a couple of Christmas boxes but had not unpacked
them yet.
The volunteer set them on the counter
one by one-- a large stuffed reindeer, a small Ty Beanie Baby reindeer named Tinsel,
and a plastic reindeer.
I chose Tinsel, purchased him, and
promptly crossed the name off and wrote “Donner”.
I enjoyed telling Ed and his parents the
story after I gave it to him. It made him smile.
“Donner” donned that floral arrangement
tree, and my Christmas tree every year since then.
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