Cousin Conversations in the Cabin: A Family Reunion

         As I showered and washed off the dust from the 8 ½ hours of driving, I reflected on the days spent at the family reunion in Grantsburg, Wisconsin. It was AMAZING!

There is something about being around people who knew my mom and my sister, which fosters a deep bond in a way few people can. People who knew my grandparents and my other aunts and uncles. Those who knew my sister that passed away decades ago in a motorcycle accident. And those who knew my husband, who I lost only five years ago.

When we are all together, we laugh, we cry, we tease each other. We talk about things that happened when we were young—different cousinly perspectives on things that happened while we were growing up. We talk about each of our paths after those reminiscent days, and funny things like all of us and our **ahem** mixed appreciation of Grandpa Finazzi’s iconic black chest hair sticking out in great tufts from within his white t-shirt.

Our family often hung out at our grandparents and went swimming in her “ool” (Grandma always said proudly, “There is no ‘P’ in her ool!).

We would talk about our hardships in life, our crazy families, and the blessings and the pitfalls of kids, and grandkids. Our goals and aspirations, and the things we learned in life. And it was amazing to hear how similar we all are even though we grew up in different states, with different parents, but all descendants of the same grandparents.

Conversations about which things were instilled in us by our parents and grandparents, some of the things we love, and some of the things we didn’t love.

As one cousin texted me later, “I think everyone at the cabin got new information and deeper perspective from other family members, whether directly or through observation.”

Several of my cousins served in the military and we shared stories from our time in uniform--living at different bases, the things we learned, the different opportunities we had. We talked about basic training, and those who served overseas, and during war time.

We talked about being married, how we met our spouses, and several of us have been married once…or twice…

We talked about those we have lost, and those who could not attend the reunion. Every night several of us cousins would hang out together and talk and share. Laugh and cry. And what is said in the cabin, stays in the cabin!

I enjoyed talking with my aunts, especially since I lost my mom so early. I love hearing stories about her and her life, and what she was like as a teenager. It was such a great time listening to stories of my grandparents, and the family they raised so long ago.

I saw glimpses of my mom in Aunt Peggy, of my Uncle Curly in my cousins Bud and Darek, and my Uncle Mick in Mike. So many family members lost, but who still linger in those among us.

It was great to see the young adults and little kids that are the subsequent generations, the “product” of our generation. To see them laugh, play, and argue, just like we did at their age!! The young adults who struggled and triumphed and are raising children of their own.

And the shenanigans! My cousins and I know how to throw maturity out the window and just have fun! And one of the many ways we do that is by hiding these doll heads in different people’s cars, houses, or campers…or pole barn! 😊 Just the fun of finding them or sneaking around to hide them! And such hilarious—yet creepy—photo opportunities! The doll heads emerged after the fruitcake candle was melted... it’s a long story…

Although we have all grown up and are beginning to show gray, we can still tease and laugh and become like kids again…teasing about hair color, or lack of hair, and lack of height…

         But the absolute most memorable time was hanging out with my cousins. No judgement, no fear, some light teasing, but a deep love and respect that is incomparable with anyone else in the world. I shared things with them that were from the innermost depths of my heart. We shared many secrets, struggles and stories, and I have incredible love and respect for those individuals sitting around the dining room table until the wee hours of the morning—some related by blood, some related by the strings of marriage.

It was a wonderful bonding time, sitting around the dining room table in the cabin with my cousins. A time I will never forget.

And incredibly interesting to hear from the spouses of my cousins! (The strong and slightly crazy people who would put up with my cousins?!!). And their life experiences, and how they fit in so beautifully with the rest of us. We talked for hours—just sitting around the table.

So many tales started with “I remember when…”

I am sorry for the family who were not able to join us, and I really hope they will be able to do so the next time we are all together. And please know that I am not trying to judge whether you should have been there, only to share what you missed because you did not. Soul searching bonding experiences like this do not come very often.

I wish my kids were as close to their cousins as I am to mine. I did my best, but once you move out of state it is difficult to spend as much time with family as we did when we were kids. I think all my cousins who moved away would say the same thing—it is much harder to maintain those close knit, cousin relationships when you live in a different state. And we are not the better for it.

Because there is nothing in the world like my family! I appreciate everyone who made it to the reunion, whether you flew from far away, or whether you drove a long distance or short. I love and appreciate you all very much!

This age-old tradition of family reunions builds memories that are profound and priceless. If you have not had the privilege of attending one, or starting one, I would highly recommend it.